The Wait and the Heart

The Wait and the Heart Break
Another story from Mira’s life…

It’s been two years that Arohan moved out of Mumbai because of a challenging career move; He was offered a huge package by an IT company in Delhi, and he couldn’t resist that. He went away to Delhi, and with it began a long saga of wait, thirst and loneliness for Mira.

Mira waited for Arohan’s call every day. But, he seldom cared. Perhaps in two years of relationship, Arohan was sure that Mira was here to stay. She wrote countless SMSs, waiting to hear back. And he replied only at his will. Days passed, weeks rolled by, and their relationship slipped into doldrums.

“But you said you’d come to meet me this week!”, she said breaking into tears.

“Do you think I am jobless? I told you I had planned, and now I am saying that’s cancelled. What am I to do when I am not being given the leaves? Should I resign and come at your service ma’am?” he yelled, not knowing how his harsh and unsympathetic words pierced Mira’s heart with a  sharp pain. This time she yelled, her voice turning hoarse.

“OK, OK…I quit! It was my fault to get into a long-distance relationship. It was my fault that I loved you. What I wished from you was your attention towards me and your love – just love. Now that I realize how unjustified it was to ask for this much from you, I quit. I call it quits!” She sobbed uncontrollably.

Arohan said nothing and disconnected the call. Mira held the phone close to her ears even long after the call was disconnected. She sat speechless, staring at absolute nothingness that lay ahead. Then she dropped the phone, knowing very well what she had done – she had broken up with Arohan, and Arohan’s disconnecting the phone without a word was only an affirmation to what she did.

Next morning, she dragged herself to work, feeling a strange numbness at heart. She felt like losing her cell phone somewhere or crushing it to pieces. The phone reminded her of all the phone calls and SMSs that kept the distance short in their long-distance relationship. But she didn’t. Perhaps she still waited deep down in her heart for the cell phone to ring again, to see Arohan’s name flash on the screen and to hear Arohan say “sorry”.

Yes, it rang. But it wasn’t Arohan’s call. The call was from Anurag, her college classmate, who lived and worked in Mumbai. He had got connected with Mira recently through a common friend. They soon exchanged phone numbers and spoke occasionally.

“Hey, Mira! What’s up? Just wanted to ask you if we can meet today? Hope you are free? Please say: Yes! Anurag sounded very enthusiastic. Mira had this strange feeling of esteem when Anurag asked her out. She felt important after a long time. She felt somewhat better. She thought that was the best chance to get away from Arohan’s memories and the relentless wait that knew no ends.

“Yes, I shall see you. Let’s meet at Cafe’ Aroma, at 6 pm. OK? OK, madam! He sounded more enthusiastic when he said that.

That evening they met. They shared all about themselves. Anurag talked about his girlfriend. He told her how they met and how they fell in love. Now it was Mira’s turn to speak. She was afraid to tell that she had a boyfriend and she had recently broken off, for reasons unknown to herself.

She started talking about herself, about Arohan, and how they managed their long-distance relationship so beautifully. She felt horrible to lie, but she did. While she spoke, she noticed Anurag listening to her very keenly, noticing every move of her eyes, her lips, and how her fingers made motions while she spoke. She felt uncomfortable, as if her lie had been caught. But she went on.

At around 7:30 pm they were ready to leave. Anurag proposed Mira to drop her home. She agreed. She wanted to spend some more moments with Anurag. She was neither in love with him nor did she feel any kind of attraction for him. She just wanted some time to pass, so that she could escape her loneliness. Anurag and Mira left the place.

As Anurag drove, he looked at Mira and said: “It was so nice to meet you. We should meet often.

Mira smiled and said: “What about your girlfriend? Wouldn’t she mind?”

“No, Mira. Not at all. I already told her about you and she is happy that I am seeing an old friend.”

A sword soaked in the poison called jealousy perforated her already broken heart. She thought: What a beautiful relationship they share – so open and clear.

Anurag looked at her once and towards the road while he drove. He said: “What are you thinking? I think something is disturbing you! What’s that? Tell me, come on.”

How he read Mira’s mind (or face), Mira was unsure about. But she was impressed for sure.

“This boy is so sensible! If he can see the pain in my eyes, I am sure, he could do this better with his girlfriend, “I thought.

He fanned his left hand across my face to break my thoughts, and said: What’s wrong? You look lost? She sat silently gazing all the things outside the car window.

“OK, forget it! Let me take you to my favorite restaurant. Let me make you happy tonight.” He looked cheerful.

“Oh, no! Please. Not to a restaurant now. I am late and moreover, I am feeling a bit unwell,” she said gently. She was trying to act as normal as possible. But Anurag could clearly see the sadness in her eyes that day.

“Oh, my God! You are so stubborn! I told you that you will feel happy at heart after you went with me to my favorite restaurant. But still, you are adamant not to go with me,” he said. He looked really offended, as if, Mira was his girlfriend who confessed of not trusting him.

His eagerness to take Mira to a restaurant made her really doubt his intentions. Mira thought: ‘ Should I trust him? He has a girlfriend, then why is he showing so much of interest on me? Hope he didn’t sense from my behavior that I have broken up with Arohan. Delhi boys are so clever and smart. I am sure Anurag must have also grown smart with time.

No, I can’t go with him. What if he tries to get physical? What if he kisses me?’

While Mira was soaked in her thoughts about Anurag, the car came to a sudden stop, and the jerk shook her back to reality.

‘Why have you stopped the car here? Where are we?’, she asked annoyingly.

‘Madam, chill! While you were busy cooking your thoughts, I drove you down to my favorite restaurant! There it is!’

Anurag opened the window glasses and pointed out towards a man standing at the side of the street, with two large steel utensils which let out steam from its sides. Young boys and girls gleefully devoured delicious-looking steaming Momos, smeared in red chili-garlic sauce.

Mira was thrilled! She looked happily at him. For the first time since that evening, she actually smiled from her heart. ‘Remember Mira, how we gobbled up the steaming momos at Debeshwar’s stall near our college in Guwahati?’

Anurag said enthusiastically. Let’s re-live those days. Both jumped out of the car (literally) and within a few minutes, they were devouring delicious momos.

After they finished eating, it was already 8:15 pm. ‘Let me drop you home,’ Anurag proposed. Mira didn’t want to show him where she lived. By now she started fearing his demanding and over-friendly nature.

‘Sure! But not home. Drop me near DDA market. I need to pick some grocery from there,’ Mira said.

‘As you say, Madam,’ Soon they reached the DDA market.

Mira opened the door of the car, looked at Anurag, smiled and said: Thanks, for the lovely evening!

Anurag just smiled. As she was about to step out of the car, Anurag quickly said: Hang on, Mira. I have a quick question for you. Mira looked back at him, startled by his serious looks and intense eyes. ‘Do you really love Arohan?’ Mira was taken aback. ‘What kind of a question it is?’ she thought. ‘Yes, I love him a lot, Anurag. But why did you ask that?’ Mira asked. She was utterly confused.

Anurag smiled and said: ‘Great! You may go now. Go..go..go you are already late! He was giggling now.

Mira was zapped by the dramatic change of Anurag’s expression. A while ago, his eyes reflected the looks of a deperate lover who was craving to be loved by the woman he loves and one who doesn’t love him but someone else. And now, he was the same cheerful friend that she knew in college.

She said a warm friendly ‘bye’ and left. Anurag drove away.

That night Mira couldn’t sleep. The beautiful moments of togetherness with Arohan in Mumbai haunted her. She felt like a lost child in an unknown neighborhood. She was craving to be hugged by Arohan. She was craving to hear his voice. She hated the thought of staying away from him. She kept staring at her cell phone, hoping that it rang. But it didn’t.

It was 1:30 am. Her eyes were tired and sleepy. But she couldn’t close her eyes. The moment she did, she couldn’t see anything else besides Arohan’s face.

Not for a moment she thought of Anurag – the man who tried to make her happy the last evening. He was, for her, an evening well spent. She kept staring at the night sky.

From her bed, the window opened into the dark sky above, with millions of stars which lay strewn like her dreams in a future of absolute darkness. At least, that night, she was not aware what the following days would bring to her. She was not aware of a new beginning that awaited. Soon her eyes closed and she sank into deep sleep, with dreams of Arohan wrapped under her pillow.

The Broken Sync – Love & Marriage

Sheetal is a woman – like any other woman, who dreams to marry, have kids, and live in a ‘home sweet home’ with her man and child. Daughter of a failed marriage, she always wanted to marry a man who would shelter her, protect her, love her beyond all limits, listen to her heartaches, and cherish her smiles. She had resolved to be a caring, loving, and understanding wife – in fact, a friend in disguise.

Yes, she found a man, who was exactly like the “man of her dreams” – He was Jiten. He loved poetry, music, and fun. He said: Sheetal, I just love you. I just want to see you happy and smiling always. Every pain and hardship that you went through in your childhood is something that you need to forget! And I am sure that my love will make you forget all that!

Sheetal said to herself: Yes, this is my man! Oh, I am so lucky to have found a man who is so “unlike” my father. He loves me so real! Everything seemed like a dream – but like the one that really came true.

They got married and soon Sheetal’s dream of becoming a mother came true. She delivered a cute and plump baby boy a year later. She thought, as her elders had told her often, that this baby would heighten their bonding. She believed that she was now the mother of his son – so she ought to be the queen of Jiten’s heart. 

Often in the evenings, she waited for Jiten to get back home and take her in her arms, hug her tight to make her feel how much he loved her. She waited…and waited. The hands of the clock moved as slow as the beats of her hearts. Jiten came home, passed a frail smile at Sheetal and went to the bedroom to take the baby in his arms. Sheetal followed him. She watched keenly, how Jiten spent hours playing with their baby, then saw him sit in front of the TV (while she fed the baby), and then eat his dinner, and retire to bed and then soon fall asleep. 

Sheetal sat watching Jiten snoring to glory. She recalled those days when he rode his bike for about 20 kilometers, just to see her. She remembered those nights when he never slept without sending her love-soaked SMSs. Tears came rolling down her cheeks. She thought: Has Jiten changed or the time? Or are we growing old enough to love each other with that intensity and vigour? That night she could not sleep. The baby woke up many times during the night and she kept feeding him. 

Next morning, when she woke up, Jiten had left for office. It was 9:30 am. She felt guilty – for the first time in her marriage Jiten went to office without his lunch box – Because she could not prepare it. She quickly took the cell phone in her hand and started typing him a message:

Sorry, Jeet. I could not wake up in the morning and you missed the lunch box today. Couldn’t sleep whole night because of babu (their son). He kept me awake whole night. 😦

She waited for a quick reply. Before marriage, Jiten was very particular about replying back to Sheetal’s SMSs, however busy he was. That day, no reply came back. Sheetal tried calling his cell phone twice. Every time Jiten disconnected it. Sheetal thought he was busy and kept the phone. She thought: Jiten will call back when he is free. I am sure he is busy.

She started her usual daily chores. A one-time college teacher, Sheetal was now a full time home maker.

Three hours later a message came:

Sheetal,

You are a mother. You will have to stay awake for many nights. All mothers do this! This is no excuse for not waking up. I did not force the child on you. You wanted to become a mother. So you are! Why are you neglecting me??

As Sheetal read this message she could not control her tears. She thought: Was being a mother my decision? Didn’t “we” want to become parents? Moreover, since the time I was pregnant, till yesterday, I have been playing a good wife, taking care of him and myself, and now, taking care of this little baby of ours. Where am I neglecting my duties, or where am I neglecting Jiten?

That night when Jiten came back home, he found a note that Sheetal had left for him, where she said: I have left a great career just because of you, Jiten! To take care of you, to give you the pleasure of being called a father! Where am I neglecting my duties, or you? I have just gone through a pregnancy and I am just out of it. I never tell you what mood swings I go through, just believing that my better-half, that is YOU will understand. Understanding is the least you do to me.

When you had those sores in your feet soon after our marriage, I went to several doctors with you, researched on the web, and made sure that you were comfortable and fine.

Have you ever tried to do that for me? You tell me that I have grown fat, post pregnancy. Have you thought what I must be going through mentally and physically whole day and night? Have you ever visited a gynecologist or a psychologist to find out a “way out” for me to feel better? No you haven’t! Why? Because you feel that since I am a woman, I am destined to go through this mess. And all that I say is just my mental make-up! 

You have forgotten to love me, to care for me, to understand my body and mind. You, think that being a mother and bearing the pain and hardships of being a mother is my sole responsibility and that I am now a mother, I can’t be a girlfriend to you. If you really cared for me – your one-time girlfriend and now the mother of your child, you would have understood why I didn’t wake up this morning. I just expected a warm hug from you in the morning, Jiten. I would surely wake up refreshed and recharged. 

Well, this is what I felt.

I am leaving this house, certainly not forever. But I will not return, untill you write me back stating what YOU feel about it.

In your message to me this morning, you said, “Why are you neglecting me??”  This made me realize that there is some latent expectation in your heart that you are not sharing with me. May be I am going wrong somewhere, from your perspective. Please let me know that. It has been more than a year that we spoke heart to heart. I think it’s high time. 

I am living at a friend’s place. Take your time, to reflect, and write back. 

Let me know if we can become friends and lovers again.

{Note for readers: I want to know from you. What do you think Jiten must have done after reading this letter? What would be his thought? I will tell you what actually happened after this, in the story that will soon follow}

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Do You Value Love in Your Life?

Once a man and a woman were at a District Court, fighting for divorce, alimony and custody of the two year old baby. They abused each other, blamed each other, called each other irresponsible and loosely charactered also. The baby, who hadn’t even learnt to talk, was watching them helplessly.

The lawyers argued, abused and accused each other’s clients. The judge watched them calmly. On some ocassions, the questions of the lawyers were so personal that the woman broke down often. The baby started to cry seeing the mother cry.

The man sat stiff, frowning at his wife. He rushed to take the baby in his lap; Grabbed the baby and sat watching the woman cry at the allegations imposed on her.

Now, it was the man’s turn. The woman’s lawayer termed him “irreponsible” and a “womaniser” in front of the crowd, who gathered at the courtroom to watch the fighting couple.

The man denied all allegations, because he knew he wasn’t like that!

The judge made notes.

Both the lawyers finished their arguments and put the case before the court for judgement.

The judge looked the the couple and said: I heard you both very carefully and also heard your esteemed lawyers speak on your behalf. I clearly see that there is a strong disconnect between you both, despite the fact that you have given birth to a baby, who is all yours and just 2 year old!

I can see that you both had a love marraige, yet can’t stand each other anymore. You both believe that YOU (individually) can make good parents, but not together.

Well, I have already made the judgement. But, I would like to share something to you both.

I am married for 28 years now. Me and my wife could never become parents. We waited all our life to have a baby, but that hope is now gone after so many years. Just yesterday, I lost another hope that kept me and my wife happy, despite having the piercing pain of being childless.

Me and my wife have been living separately for the past 15 years, as we are posted in two separate towns, because of the governement jobs we hold. Recently, my wife got a transfer to our town, on the grounds of ill health and the need of staying with her spouse. Our happiness knew no bounds! Afterall, we would be able to live together after ages! We started planning all that we hadn’t done since ages. I had decided that I will take care of her and make her fit.

But, only yesterday she was diagnosed to be at the last stage of breast cancer, and that she would live for only another 2.5 months. One month short of our 29th aniversary.

We struggled all our lives to have a stable life – with babies, living together. But that struggle will soon die without results. I wish there was some postponement policy in God’s plan to give death to human beings – I’d surely pay triple the alimony amount you are fighting for, to buy that policy and get my wife some more years of togetherness with me.

Look at yourself now, what are you both doing? When you can tolerate the bad behavior and ill-temparament of your parents and siblings, even after fights and quarrels, why can’t you do that for your spouse?

Why can’t you accept him/her the way he/she is? Why can’t you count on the good things he/she has in him/her?

I approve your divorce, but the decision is on you both.

The couple broke down in tears. They took back their divorce petitions and are living happily today.

From Mira’s Diary

I feel that I am in haste to do everything that my heart longs to do – to get promotions in job; to love my people; to laugh with them; to travel to the mystic lands where happiness resides; to have babies; to play with them; to see them grow up; to grow old seeing my accomplishments.

There is a hurry to do them all, as if time is fleeting and I just have a handful of it.
I wonder why is there a strange restlessness and fear in my heart?? I am striving to achieve these in life, then why is the hurry?

During days, I remain absorbed in work, running a race of time, against my will. I need to win, come what may.

At nights, when the moon stares at me from the sky, with the stars teasing me with their mocking winks, the fear dawns on me again. My soul gets soaked in the thoughts of the unseen future and the fears galore.

The Last Hours of Togetherness

Mira is married with Arohan for the last three years. She has given all that she could to Arohan, in these years of marriage – love, loyalty, commitment and all the possible understanding.

Recently, Arohan had to leave for London for a year. Of course, being a busy entrepreneur he has loads of assignments to work upon. His assignments have kept him awake whole night on many occasions. And with him, they also kept Mira awake, as she couldn’t sleep without Arohan by her side.

It’s been a week that Arohan is away and Mira has already started feeling lost and lonely. She finds nothing interesting. No kids at home (as Arohan didn’t want kids so early), no work to do (as she is a house-wife) and no household chores to finish (as there are two maids looking after this).

She waited whole day long for Arohan’s calls, which generally came at nights. They spoke about food, weather and household finances and the call ended with that. Days and nights were never so boring.

One day she decided to re-activate her Facebook account that she had deactivated long time back after a small quarrel with Arohan over a small matter (Mira has this habit of destroying her priced belongings when she is angry, and her Facebook account was a priced possession too!).

She was happy that she could now reconnect with old friends. She started typing the names of some of her old friends. She felt incommensurable happiness at heart on finding a few of them. Then she typed a name inadvertently – Rajiv Ratan Mishra. There popped-up a face, so known, so dear and so memorable.

Rajiv was Mira’s first love, a friend and a soul mate. She truly adored and respected him while they read in college. A beautiful example of ‘platonic love’, her feelings for him were so pure. But, Rajiv never knew about her feelings for him and still didn’t know.

She couldn’t stop herself from sending him a request to connect. And to her surprise, her request was instantly accepted. This meant that Rajiv was online! Her happiness knew no bounds.

They started chatting. During their conversation she got to know that Rajiv lived in the same city. They instantly decided to meet the next day.

It was 6pm. Mira was all set to meet Rajiv after years. She stood in front of the mirror, looked carefully at her image. She sensed a strange happiness, after ages. No evening was so exciting as that day. She could feel her heart miss beats at the thought of meeting Rajiv.

She stepped out of her house and drove down the road that took her to a cafe’ where they had decided to meet. She stopped the car just in front of the cafe’. She looked around searching for the face that she had almost forgotten in all these years of marriage.

And finally, she spotted Rajiv in the crowd of young faces flocking into the cafe’. He looked as calm and poised as he was in college days. He looked young, smart and vibrant. Mira stepped out of the car and walked towards Rajiv. He was looking for her, with his face turned on the other side. Mira went and stood near him. She whispered: “Raj..I am here.”

Rajiv turned to find her standing next to him. Mira could clearly see the joy of reunion on Rajiv’s face. He said: “Hey Mira! You haven’t changed at all! You look as pretty and nice as ever!”

Mira said: ” Oh! Come on. Can’t you see my greying hair?”

“Oh Shut up! Now don’t act humble. Let’s go and sit out there”, said Rajiv.

They pulled two chairs, and sat facing each other. Mira couldn’t stop smiling. She said: “So? Are you working here? Are you married? Where do you stay? Is aunty, I mean your mum also staying with you? Why didn’t you come on my wedding?

As Mira rapid-fired Rajiv with questions, he kept gazing at her with a smile. After she finished, Rajiv said: “Girl, hang on! Take a breath! Let me answer all your queries. Yeah, I work with an MNC out here. Nope! I am not married still. I stay just 4 kms away from here, at R.C Nagar crossing, and yes, all alone. Mum is in Mumbai with Navya di. Remember? My eldest sister?

Now, the biggest question: Why I didn’t show up at your wedding? Welllll…I don’t know!”

“What do you mean? I did invite you at my wedding and Mr. Busy, you were in the same town. Weren’t you?” said Mira.

“Forget it na. Tell me how’s you and your hubby? His name is Rohan, right??”, asked Rajiv.

“Hmm..I am good; super happy with Arohan…not Rohan”, answered Mira. (Both laughed)

They ordered for two cups of coffee.

Mira said (in a slow tone): “How time flies! It seems only yesterday when we were in college. I miss those days Rajiv. Don’t you?

“Yeah, you are right. Time just flew away. It’s a pleasure to meet you Mira. I also miss those college days – carefree and fun days,” he added.

“Life has given me so much. Yet, I feel that I haven’t got that I wanted so desperately”, said Mira (she appeared tired and sad).

“And what’s that?” asked Rajiv.

“The sense of fulfilment”, replied Mira. Rajiv was sipping the steaming coffee served to him, while Mira’s coffee lay on the table, untouched. She looked engrossed and engulfed by thoughts that Rajiv couldn’t read.

“You know Rajiv, I feel that I have lived my life, just for others. I haven’t lived it for myself. I want to smile, love, travel and live freely, just as I always wanted to.”

Rajiv could now sense that Mira was trying to hide something from the world around her. She was in trauma that she hid even from her “self”. She appeared pretending to be happy, but she was not!

“What’s bothering you Mira? You may tell me if you please! We are old freinds. Aren’t we? You can confide in me, all that is pent up.”

Mira looked into Rajiv’s eyes, smiled and said: “Nothing! I am just a little tired and wish to go home now.”

“Oh! Sure. But, I will drop you home. Is that okay Mira?”

“Thanks Raj, but I have brought my car. I will drive down myself. Thanks a bunch for meeting up.”

“Nothing doing! (Rajiv said authoritatively) I will drop you home. You look unwell. We will leave the car in the parking area. Aright?”

Mira smiled and said: Okayyyy!

Rajiv opened the front door of his car and said: “Madam, please honour me by sitting in my car!”

Mira smiled and sat comfortably. Rajiv also sat and started his car. He turned on the AC. Mira switched it off and said: “It’s breezy outside. Let’s open our window glasses?” Rajiv smiled and drove his car.

The car raced down the open roads. It was 10:30 pm. The cold breeze kissed Mira’s face and blew away her hair. She said: “Raj, why don’t you play some good music?”

Rajiv smiled and turned on the radio. The famous Hindi song “Tumse hi…”, from the film “Jub We Met” played. There was a complete silence. Neither Mira said anything, nor Rajiv spoke a word. He drove the car and looked a little lost. Mira looked at him. She was about to say something when her cell phone rang. It was Arohan’s call.

The phone went on ringing. Mira looked blankly at the phone screen. It read: Arohan calling….Rajiv said: “Pick the phone Mira.”

Mira said hessitantly: “Oh! Yes, I will.”

She picked the phone and said: “Can I call you an hour later? Yeah, I am with an old buddy. She smiled and said: Thanks! She hung up the call.

There was silence again. The song playing in the background and the cold breeze made Mira happy. She felt light at heart. No stress, no expectations, no regrets and no worries. She felt like a free bird.

She looked at Rajiv and said: “Rajiv, thanks for coming along. I am loving this drive, this breeze and the song. Can we drive a little longer?”

Rajiv smiled and said, “Mira. I am happy that “you” are happy. I like you smiling. Stay happy always. Okay, lets go on a longer drive!”

The car zoomed through the deserted city roads. Mira was lost in thoughts. She had a strange feeling. She was in a battle of conflicting thoughts. Her heart couldn’t forget Rajiv as the first love of her life, and meeting him at the juncture of her life when she was very lonely, made her feel for him all the more. At the same time, she had a sense of guilt for being “in a way” disloyal to Arohan, who trusted her a lot. She wondered: “Am I getting carried away by treacherous emotions?”

Rajiv looked at Mira and said: “Mira, I have a flight tomorrow morning. I have been transferred to the Chicago office. I will remember you and this lovely meeting of ours.”

Mira looked sadly at Rajiv. The song played in the radio then, was so reflective of what Mira was feeling at that moment of separation. The lines of the song went:

Do pal tujhse juda tha
Aise phir rasta muda tha
Tujhse mein khone laga
Juda jaise hone laga
Mujhse kuch mera

Tu hi meri liye ab kar dua
Tu hi iss dard se kar de juda
Tera hoke tera jo main na raha
Main yeh khud se kehta hoon

Tujhe bhula diya

Mira felt a sharp pain in her heart. But she smiled and said: “Raj, I will miss you buddy. Will you stay in touch this time?”

Rajiv smiled and said: “Yes Mira! I will.”

Then happened that Mira had never even dared to even think of. She said: “Raj, I wanna confess something to you. I can’t live with this burden in my heart. Will you listen, just listen without reacting?”

“Ofcourse Mira! Please share.”

Mira looked out of the window, it had started raining. They raised their window glasses. Turned the AC on.

Mira said: “Rajiv, I am having a strange feeling.”

“What is it?” Rajiv said.

Mira continued: “This meeting took me back to our college days. The days, when I dreamt of just one thing – getting you in my life, being your love and being with you for life. I know, you must be finding it weird to hear from me, who is now married to another man. But please allow me to lighten my heart. Rajiv, it’s not that I now want to have you in my life or leave Arohan. It also doesn’t mean that I do not care for Arohan anymore. But, it’s the vacuum in my heart that has grown deeper ever since you left last time and that is now pricking me. I don’t wish to know your reactions Raj. I know you will move away from me after this.”

Rajiv didn’t say a word. He turned the radio off and said: “Mira, I respect the purity of your feelings and its sensitivity. I am happy that you confessed that so honestly. I deeply appreciate you for that. I just hope that you stay happy with Arohan. May you get all the love that you deserve.” Then, Rajiv smiled and said: “So..? Feeling better?”

Mira smiled vaguely and said: Thanks Raj! Please turn left, my house is nearby. She then directed him to her house. They drove down the narrow alleys of a posh locality and finally reached.

“Madam, here we are! Your ‘home sweet home’ is here!”

He got down the car and opened the door for Mira to get down. Mira stepped out sad, but feeling light at heart.

Rajiv said: “Okay then, stay happy and stay in touch. Bye dost!”

He didn’t turn back, sat in his car and drove away.

Tears rolled down Mira’s eyes. As she turned to open the main gate of her house, her cell phone beeped. There was a message from rajiv.

Mira,
Thanks for being so honest in our freindship. I have never met anyone as transparent and pure at heart as you are. I also have a confession to make. I also loved you always. But never dared to say, fearing that I might lose your freindship. But, that is how life is beleived to be. It gives you pleasent and unpleasent surprises. You get what you least expect and lose that you dearly desire. I accept it as it is. You do the same. Love your life Mira. Accept it, as it is. Expectations only make it killer. I may not see you again, but I will miss this meeting and the lovely drive with you. And above all, I will miss you in this lifetime
.”

A Horrifying Truth

A chilling November morning.

The alarm rang loud and shrill.

Nina woke up, shut the mouth of the “hated alarm”. She peeped out of her blanket to look at the watch with half open eyes.

“Oh, it’s 6 am!” she said in a low voice.

With Monday blues in heart, she lazily pulled herself out of her cosy little bed.

Nina is a Business Development Manager with a risk management comapany. It was a Monday and today she had very important client meeting at her client office, far from her home and office. She knew, she had to rush.

She had the bad habit of drinking tea before brushing her teeth. Nina thought it fueled up her energies to get started for the day. She walked up to her kitchen and lazily made a cup of hot steaming Darjeeling tea, mixed with Assam tea leaves. Sitting at the little balcony, of her 1BHK flat, she took sips of her energy drink – tea.

She could see the main entrance gate of the housing society she lived in, and also the hosuing society office. She noticed a strange chaos at the office. Men and women flocked in to meet the Chairman.

“What’s wrong?” she asked herself.

But, soon forgot about the chaos, once she thought about the meeting that was scheduled for the day. She knew, she had to pitch pretty to get the client for her company.

Hurriedly she kept the cup in the kitchen and looked at the watch again. It was 6:40 am. She then realised that Aruna – the bai didn’t turn up at 6:30 am; this meant that she wasn’t coming that day!

The hot cup of tea energised Nina so much, that she ran to the kitchen deciding to clean up the unwashed utensils herself. She turned on the tap. The water was gushing in bursts, intemittently. She got irritated. She left the utensils half washed and rushed to the bathroom.

She knew that she had to report at the client office at 8:30 am. Now, she also knew that she was getting late.

She took her toothbrush and started brushing her teeth vigorously. She was angry with Aruna for not turning up that day and all her anger came pouring on her pearly white teeth!

Then, she turned on the tap to wash her mouth. There was no water!! She tried to move the knob of the tap clockwise and anti-clockwise, hoping to see water gushing out. Alas! not even a drop trickled out of the tap.

“I will blast the society chairman today. How dare he stop the water supply without prior notice!” she mummbled angrily. She opened the door and ran down the stairs towards the society office.

To her horror, she saw a sea of people – the society residents – yelling at the chairman and the president. The chairman helplessly assured that he would get the water supply restored within a couple of hours. He claimed that even he was not sure why the water supply to the society flats was disrupted!

Nina knew that it was a bad day. She couldnt go to her clients without brushing her teeth or taking a shower. She came back to her flat.

She decided to go to her best friend Rachna’s house to get fresh for the day. Rachna lived not very far from her house.

She called up Rachna to inform her that she was coming. What Rachna told her made Nina far more nevous and scared. Rachna said that even her society people were struggling to get a drop of water. In fact, all the neighbouring areas faced the similar crisis. No one knew what was wrong!!

Nina quickly called up her client and postponed her meeting for the afternoon. She took a glass of water from her water jug and washed her mouth.

She sat down on the reclining chair, tired and worried. She took the TV remote and switched on the TV. Flipping through the various channels, she stopped at one news channel. The news reporter, wearing a serious look, reported:

City goes dry. The entire city has lost its groundwater availability, confirmed government sources. Some areas that still have water are the outskirts of the city, with limited human settlement. Interestingly, the people in those areas are selling water at Rs 100 per 1 litre bottle! Indeed costlier than Bisleri! The government has declared it an emergency situation. The state government is meeting all District Comissioners to find a temporary solution to it. Scientists are busy exploring the scenario and its threats.

Nina, jumped up her chair in absolute horror. “This can’t be true!” she said to herself.

Those memories of her childhood flashed across her mind, when she used to stand in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing her teeth, leaving the tap running. She remembered those days, when she took shower for 45 minutes! She remembered the rain dance party that she attened a few days ago!

She knew, what was happeneing that day, was a result of the thoughtless misuse of the flowing resource- water. She knew, the monstrous crisis was there, but she knew no way to go back in time and undo her thoughtless action. The damage was done!

Note for readers: This is a pen potrayal of a dream that I had recently. Trust me, I was so much horrified that when I woke up in the morning, I rushed to check if there was water in the tap! I seriously think that this situation might confront us one day, if we continue to waste water this way. So let’s be on high alert from now on!

SAVE WATER!! 😀

The last letter of Mira

My dearest Aarohan,

I couldn’t even realise how soon, how fast these days past. Today, it is exactly 3 years 1 month 12 days, that I have been sharing this life with you. Trust me, this time spent with you, was the best time of my life, since my birth.

The little things you did for me, meant a lot. I loved the way you cooked for me, whenever I was unwell and fed me with your hands. Specially the khitchdi that you cooked when I was unwell. It tasted so good. 😉

I can’t tell you, there are countless such moments, when you touched my soul.

Today, I am feeling miserable. The persitent fear and pain of leaving you behind is haunting me. I have just a week or so to live. And then, an irreversable journey, when I will be forced to leave you behind. I will be forced to take this journey to infinity.

I can’t stop my tears baby. I can’t!!

All these years, cooking for you, cleaning our home, preapring bed, washing your clothes, preparing French toast for you in breakfast and massaging warm oil under your feet, felt awesome.

I will miss all this in my next birth, if there would be any. ;(

I loved you always. But now, when I am leaving this sweet little world of ours “forever”, I love you more! A desperate desire to live with you is piercing my soul. I want to stay with you Aarohan. I really want to!

Love means so much I never knew. I always loved to be in a relationship with you, but I never knew how blissful it would be to be your wife.

I want to share so much, I want to talk so much. But, there is such less time. Death is inching closer with every ticking of the clock. I can see it coming.

Tomorrow, when I will leave you behind, don’t search me in bed, just hug my pillow tight. I am leaving the fragrence and warmth of my body in it.

I can’t even say, “will see you soon.” But, I will miss your arms, your kisses, your caresses and your every touch.

You have touched my life Aarohan..you have touched my soul.

I am happy about one thing, that I am your better half.

Never leave my memories behind, but don’t forget to move on in life either.

Take care of yourself honey.

Loads of love, hugs and kisses.

Ever yours,
Mira ;))