A Desire Came True

This is in continuation to my post ‘The Desire‘; I posted on September 10, 2013.

Who says honest desires never become reality? 

The famous book – The Secret rightly quotes: Whatever is going on in your mind is what you are attracting…We are like magnets – like attract like. You become AND attract what you think…Every thought has a frequency. Thoughts send out a magnetic energy…You attract your dominant thoughts. It’s not “wishful” thinking.

I desired strongly…from the depth of my soul. So, the universe conspired to make me what I desire – A mother!

Yes, I am expecting my first baby in June first week.

Send us loads of prayers. We need them.

Signing off for now with a powerful thought: Believe in whatever you desire and work toward achieving it. You may face countless hurdles. But you will surely succeed.

Destiny favors the fighters – People who have this never-give-up kind of a spirit. 

Many times you fail to achieve your dreams not because that desire was not meant for you. You fail because you gave up. 

So stick on to your dreams and desires until you succeed.

 

Why Men in India don’t Cook?

I can’t talk about men in other parts of the world, but I can surely talk about India. Now, many men in India who “love” cooking may refute my argument that “men in India don’t cook”. So, allow me to clarify myself at the very outset.

If you “love” cooking, good! Good for you! But, in my post, I am talking about the fact that men in India do not cook as a “regular chore” – contrary to what women do.

Hilarious it is! A tradition that is age-old and rudimentary, in which a woman’s duty is to cook for the family – come what may; in some families, even if she is unwell. Contrary to this scenario, there are families where if the woman of the house is somehow not capable of cooking, due to ill-health or whatever, food is ordered from outside (a restaurant or so), but MEN of the house will NEVER cook.

In earlier times, women were confined to the four walls of the house, and her only job was to take care of the household – cooking, washing, etc. While, men went out to earn the daily bread.

Today the times have changed – women are equally competent as men – they are working as teachers, doctors, engineers, IT professionals and so on. But one thing that has NOT changed is the culture of keeping women in the kitchen – cook…cook…come what may.

There are some kind men who boast of the fact that they sit in front of the TV and do some cutting and chopping for the wife or mother. While some, just watch TV, or stay busy on social networking sites, while the woman slogs in the kitchen, after a hard day at work.

Is it fair?

If the man is earning, so is the woman! If the man pays for the household bills and invoices, so does the woman. They take decisions together. Man and woman today are the like the two wheels of a bicycle in every respect. But why does a man stay away from this responsibility?

Answer is simple!

In India, if there is a family where there is a husband and a wife, with two children – a girl and a boy. There is a general practice of making the girl learn household works – cooking, cleaning, washing etc. While the boy, plays in the neighborhood – merry and gay. Interestingly, the expectation of good grades and a soaring career remains equal from both. Just imagine! What an irony! The society – in this scenario the immediate family of the girl – expects SO MUCH from a girl. But from a boy the expectation is clean and simple – eat well, play well, study well, and make a career. Ridiculous!

Cooking and household chores should be a combined responsibility of a man and a woman – why should woman have to manage kitchen everyday? Can’t the typical Indian men come out of this age-old mentality that “cooking is woman’s domain”?

It is no shame for a man to be in a kitchen. It is more humane and kind of you if you take charge of cooking and relieve your wife or mother on alternate days.

Be thoughtful. A man is a true man if he understands his responsibility stop thinking you are a superior breed. You are not!

I am Celebrating today – Delhi Gang Rape Convicts awarded Death

My prayers have been answered – the four brutes – convicts of the Delhi gang rape case have been awarded death sentence.

accused-delhi295x200

I appreciate Justice Yogesh Khanna for this remarkable verdict.

Excerpts from a news article </strong> on Times of India

“Besides discussing others offences, I straightaway come to section 302 (murder) of Indian Penal Code (IPC). This falls under inhuman nature of the convicts and the gravity of offence they committed cannot be tolerated. Death sentence is given to all the four convicts,” he said. “Court cannot turn a blind eye to such a gruesome act,” the judge said, while handing down the maximum punishment to the four convicts in the Delhi gang-rape case.

He said, “When crime against women is rising on day-to-day basis, so, at this point in time court cannot keep its eye shut.”

“There should be exemplary punishment in view of the unparalleled brutality with which the victim was gang raped and murdered, as the case falls under the rarest of rare category. All be given death,” the court said while reading out a portion of the order.

“This is a time when serious crime against a woman has come to the fore and now its judiciary’s responsibility to instill confidence among the women,” it said.

I don’t care if they appeal in higher courts. I am confident that everywhere they will be treated the same way – as inhuman brutes and beasts.

May the victim’s soul rest in peace now. May the family of the victim have peaceful sleep after this verdict.

Also Read: Justice for Delhi Gang Rape Victim

Justice for Delhi Gang Rape Victim

“She was gang raped by six persons one by one and…iron rod and hands were inserted into the abdominal cavity…(and a) major part of her intestine was pulled out from the body. This aspect shows the severity of injuries caused to the victim,” said Additional Sessions Judge Yogesh Khanna.

…and the Human Rights advocates want the 17 year old convict to be treated as a juvenile? Eye-witness has confirmed that he was the cruelest of all. The same Human Rights advocates want life sentence and not death penalty for the other four convicts. Mockery of the value of a woman’s modesty and her life – it’s a mockery of life!

Don’t give logical reasoning like: Death means gone-at-once – no pain, no suffering. Don’t give me useless lectures on things like “a juvenile should be a given a chance to transform himself”. These are all crappy statements.

For a moment ask your self – it is hard to imagine, but please do! What if you were raped so brutally? What if your sister or daughter was raped? Would you want to give the juvenile a chance? Would you want these beasts to serve life imprisonment, and allow them time to transform?

What would be your instant thought? If you ask me, I would ask for nothing less than a cruel execution.

People in India believe – Jaan hai to jahaan hai (If you have life, you have everything) – How true is that! If given life sentence, these brutes will take a sign of relief and think the same! None of them is above 30 years old. This clearly implies, when they will walk out of jail, 14 years hence, they will be still potent young men – a hatta-katta jawan mard (as they call them in India – meaning healthy young men), and walking free on the streets to destroy the life of some other women.

If they marry, they will get involved on marital rape – or else, there are women outside for them.

OK, for a moment let’s imagine – that they are transformed men after 14 years, do you think this in any way gives justice to the poor girl who battled for life and then left this world with immense pain and shame? Will the parents of the deceased ever get to forget the trauma they were made to undergo for no fault at all? Will they ever get a peaceful sleep thinking about their helpless daughter who was butchered by these beasts.

If the honorable court awards life sentence to them today, I will lose faith on judiciary forever. Keeping fingers crossed and praying that these beasts rot in hell.

I also pray that the so-called juvenile gets the worst life after the three years of juvenile home-stay.

There is a serious need to revisit our laws – laws that are old and rudimentary, we all know. But who should take the first step? I am sure the onus is on our elected representatives sitting comfortably in Parliament.

Can we please make it 2014 General Elections youth agenda or demand, whatever you call it?

Time to rise – write, speak, mobilize public opinion. Can’t sleep over this. It could be me tomorrow – or maybe YOU.

Nani’s Kitchen – Unforgettable Aroma & Much More

Bengali homes are known for their fanatic love for cooking and eating. Morning starts with the thought of food and ends with it. At least my grandma’s home followed this. My nana reasoned: After all, why do we earn – to eat!! 😀 Simple it may sound, but it isn’t.

For my nani it meant a disciplinary run to the market to buy fish, vegetables, and spices, and then sitting at the backyard with her sharp-edged dao (a cutting instrument) to cut the fish into typical pieces for macher jhol (fish curry) and cut vegetables for the shorshe charchari (vegetables cooked in hand-ground mustard) that she would cook for lunch and dinner. While she performed this ritualistic cutting exercise, my nana watched carefully and gave instructions when necessary, sitting at the wooden chair that lay in the shady veranda of their little Assam-type house.

At 11 am or so, the much-awaited cooking started in nani‘s kitchen. She first lit the earthen stove with much difficulty – blowing the burning charcoal with a haat-paakha (hand fan) in her hand and tears in eyes. I can’t forget the smoky smell of the air, mixed with the smell of fish curry, cooked yellow lentils, beguni or eggplant fries, inside that little kitchen with blackened walls.

She used to cook in huge aluminum pots and pans – and served food with a huge aluminum serving spoon. That was inherited by her from her mum-in-law.

She would serve food in huge steel plates with hollows – each hollow would contain a yummy dish – spicy and tangy fish curry, tasty lentils, and flavorful vegetables cooked in mustard, along with a sweet and sour tomato chutney (sauce) cooked in jaggery and rice. I can’t forget the taste and smell of the food and the smoky fragrance of her kitchen.

She would not let us finish dinner without stuffing ourselves till the neck – her logic for doing this was that food should be eaten not only for tummy, but for the soul also. 😀 She served with so much love, that we could not say “No” when she offered multiple servings. I can’t forget the satisfied smile on her round and white face.

My nani expired in the year 2004. It’s been almost ten years now, but even now the floral smell of her hair oil, the smell of her starched cotton saris, and the smell of the delectable Bengali cuisine she mastered, still lingers around – somewhere in my memory.

Now, whenever I visit my mom, I request her to cook all that my nani cooked for me. And while she cooks, I sit beside her, reminiscing bygone days and reliving those childhood days lost in the winds of time.

Nani is not there – times have changed, but thankfully, the aroma and smell of her kitchen still remains in its original form in the cooking style of my mom which she inherited from her mother.

Thank God! Some precious things never change, never go. 🙂

———————————————————————————————————————

Note: Here are some pictures from my kitchen – I do some amount of good cooking like mum and nani – Just learning. I shall carry these fragrances and aromas down the generations.

Indian Chicken curry

Tomato Pulao

Yellow pulao with Indian chicken curry

Rice kheer - An Indian dessert

Besan halwa - An Indian dessert

This blog post is a part of Ambi Pur “Smelly To Smiley” contest.

What is Happiness? Who is Happy?

I think happiness is a state of mind. If you learn to control your mind, you know the way to be happy.

If your mind tells you: “You don’t have this – you don’t have that?” Ask your mind in return: “Which of these are irrevocable?” Anything that is irrevocable is the “death of a near one”. Rest all can be achieved with persistence and patience.

You CAN achieve anything, even in toughest times, only if you tame your mind to be patient and calm. Inner peace is EVERYTHING – none but YOU can achieve it. No guru can help you get that if you decide that you can’t be happy. So learn to tell yourself: All is in control. I can handle this – I CAN! Then see the magic.

None but myself has taught me this.

Despite all the “nothings” in life, one should learn to feel blessed for “whatever” he / she owns – I have learnt this lately – But I am glad I did. Nobody is completely deprived of “everything” – I bet.