A Tribute to My Favorite Film Maker

One man, who made me love Bangla movies – Rituporno Ghosh (an acclaimed film maker and an outstanding actor) – is no more. Today, he has left for his journey to heaven. What he has left behind is just a vacuum.

His movies – Abohomon, Baariwali, Rain Coat, Shubho Mahurat and many more – will remain as great masterpieces for the film-loving posterity to come.

I can never forget his acting in Sanjoy Nag’s much acclaimed movie – Memories in March. It made me smile, cry, and introspect. Posting the trailer for my friends.

Adiu Rituporno. You will remain in my memory and heart forever.

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Yet another Taboo

My eldest maternal uncle was a simple lean-built, fair looking man. He earned Rs.1100 a month (about 9 years ago), working as a labor in a glass shop in Guwahati (a small town tucked in the north-east India). He was an uneducated man (a sixth-class pass), but a fine artist – drew beautiful sketches and portraits. Interestingly, it was a built-in talent – he never learnt the art from anyone. 

He slogged at the shop all through the week, lifting cartons of heavy glasses, cleaning the shop floor, bringing water for his seniors at work. On Sundays, he’d spend time buying grocery for home; eating his meals; chit-chatting with my granny (his mother). He would laugh heartily, and get angry like a bull. He was a happy-go-lucky man.

When the night came, he often said: I don’t wanna sleep; If I sleep, the dawn will break and I will have to get back to the same monotonous chores. 

He often complained that he was bullied at work by his seniors; He’d fill his plastic water bottle and they’d puncture it again and again. My other uncles (his younger brothers) fumed in anger. They also issued a gentle warning to his fellow workers and seniors – also complained to his boss. But, nothing helped.

Soon he looked changed. He talked very less. Remained quiet even if someone instigated him to fight. Totally non-defensive – as if he was not within himself.

One night when he came home, he was scared, terrified to the extremes. When asked what happened? He pointed toward the wall and said: He will kill me. He wants to kill me. He is calling me. 

Nobody could grasp the nerve of the matter. All were clueless. A number of visits to the psychiatrists brought a shocking fact before us – he was in a chronic depression, and now a Schizophrenic. It was an earth-shattering revelation for us.

In the year 2008, he left for his heavenly abode.

How could he be in depression and we never got to know? This question rang in our minds. 

Somewhere in this whole process, we realized our contribution in making him a schizophrenic. Wish we realized in time that he was in depression. Wish we could help in time. This sense of guilt is killer.

In India, mental ailment/disorder is not taken seriously. It is a taboo. People hush up the discovery that someone in their family is suffering from mental ailment. They go to a doctor only when the matter goes out of hand, or else, repent and feel guilty when that family member either commits suicide or dies.

Why is this so? Why do people not realize that a human mind “can” feel depressed and needs on-time help? Reason? Lack of awareness.

It is important for all of us to know that depression is that state of mind when:

  • One feels sad, lost, worthless, hopeless, empty, irritable, hurt, and angry
  • One loses interest in daily activities
  • One loses appetite or have constant urge to over-eat
  • One cries frequently
  • One encounters sleeping disorder – too much sleep or less sleep
  • One faces difficulty in concentrating
  • One has suicidal thoughts or thoughts of death

Whenever you notice a couple of these signs in any friend or family member, rush for clinical help – Go to a doctor. Don’t sit and reason out things and facts with him/her.

Encourage your friend or family member by saying that all will be well soon. Support him/her   by being patient and supportive. Be watchful of whatever he/she says. 

Above everything, please don’t think: OK! This is no ailment. If he/she tries his best, he/she can come out of it. It’s a myth! Depression cannot be tackled alone. Medical help is a must.

Just as you treat a flu, a stomach infection, or a simple lethargy by visiting a doctor, please treat depression as an ailment, which can be cured with medical help. 

If treated well, a depression patient can be treated to lead a normal life. If left untreated, it can lead to serious problems. 

Spread the word around – let’s make sure that we identify signs of depression on time and treat it with courage and support. 

And, if you are reading this post and feel you are depressed, just don’t wait: Say Loudly: I am depressed and I need help! 

Note: All the signs mentioned above are based on my personal observation. If you doubt you are depressed, see a doctor to confirm and get treated.

Love is like a Friendship Caught on Fire – Is it?

This morning, over a cup of tea, I had this meaningful discussion on “love” (my favorite subject 🙂 ) with my brother-in-law and sister. We discussed about the difference between “love”, “attraction in friendship”, and admiration. The perspectives that we shared were indeed interesting. I immediately decided to write on this topic and share with my readers to know their opinion on this.

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. ~~ Bruce Lee .

I found this quote on the Internet. Just loved the words “Love is like a friendship caught on fire” and “As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable”. These words, very aptly, describe what love is, and how different it is from the initial “only attraction/admiration/infatuation”.

When you meet someone attractive or appealing (either in looks or other attributes), you tend to make friends with them. Friendship grows – you often spend time together. You look forward to each meeting. Moments together with that special friend becomes “precious”. You feel like talking to that person more frequently, more than your daily chit-chats. Your friendship appears like a flame of a candle, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering in the beginining.

I think attraction/admiration/infatuation for someone can happen due to his/her unique qualities (looks or other attributes, as I mentioned earlier). It could be a temporary phase. It may vaoprize sooner or later. You need to watch your heart – how it feels after a while. Your feelings may fluctuate with time.

But, love is mature. It stays on! If you just won’t accept anyone in liu of your friend. And, won’t let him/her go in any circumstances, you are certainly in love.

Love grows mature and becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.