Futility of Life

All of us are busy in our own pursuits – personal and professional.

On the professional front, each day, you see, is a battle field. The battle to survive amongst the fittest. You give your best and you rise. But the struggle to sustain that position is horrific. It’s not about just earning currency notes! It’s about surviving and sustaining.

The irony is that, all companies are aggressive. They are just bothered about their top line and bottom line growth. A slight mistake on your part if causes loss of client relationships or decrease in the top line, might result in the loss of your job – even if you were a star performer in the last fiscal.

On personal front, it’s all about finding and sustaining love in relationships. Making our loved ones happy, irrespective of the fact that many times it’s not reciprocated. But loving is all about giving and not expecting in return. How many of us really dwell in this “selfless” thought?

Someone once told me about something called “the inverted pyramid of relationships”. At the broader top of the pyramid reside those, whom you love and care for the most. And at the bottom, that is at the apex of the pyramid reside those, whom you love and care, but not more than the ones who reside at the top.

The meaning is simple – Love flows in the reverse order. Let’s look at this example. When you are single, your parents, siblings, and your closest friends are the ones whom you love the most. Hence, they reside at the broader top of the inverted pyramid of relationships. The moment you find a life partner, your love starts flowing towards your life partner. The focus of your life now shifts a few degrees towards him/her.

Parents, siblings and friends complain of lack of attention from your side. And you do not care a bit. Your love, care and attentions flows towards your life partner. Now what happens? Your parents, siblings, and friends slip down lower in the pyramid of relationships and your better half resides at the top.

Soon you have kids. What’s the story now? Your focus is now drawn towards your kids and shifts a few degrees away from your life partner. All your love and care is directed towards your kids. You smile for them, you care for their needs and desires. more than anybody else’s! You still love your parents, siblings, life partner, and friends, but no doubt it is way lesser than your love and care for your kids. Quite natural! Now the life partner ironically sinks below in the pyramid of relationships.

Now your children grow up and start having life of their own. Their personal life! They get busy in their personal and career pursuits. You feel ignored and you get back to the refuge of your life partner. You get closer to him/her like never before.

When your kids get married and have their own kids, your life partner and your kids sink below in the pyramid. Now your grandchildren become your priority. You love them and treasure them like your priced possessions. This is the time when your parents (who may have left this world) are forgotten and out of the pyramid, your life partner and best friends are at the lowest level (that is at the apex of the inverted pyramid); above that are your kids (that is at the center of the inverted pyramid) and at the top are your lovely grandchildren (that is at the broader top of the inverted pyramid).

Love flows downwards in generations. Every relationship fades with the coming of another newer one. This is the futility of life. Nothing is stable, neither your power, status, nor love.


8 thoughts on “Futility of Life

  1. Hi Monika,
    A very insightful post indeed which got me introspecting.
    Yes, love does flow downwards, relationships fade away – and change is inescapable. But life? Is it futile? I must read your post once more and reflect on this before I reach a conclusion
    Do write more such philosophical posts.

    1. Thanks for your valuable comment, Vikram.

      I called life futile, because today, I am going through a strange feeling of futility.

      Despite having all the love in life, and despite having a good career, the feeling of fading away of everything, makes me realize that life is futile.

      Why are we in a haste to set things right in relationships, making people believe time and again that “yes, I love you!”; proving our capability at work when we know that this too is not permanent!

      1. Hi Monika,
        Well I have one solution for you Monika – maybe it will make your feeling of futility go away.
        Have something to look forward to every day.
        Yes, having something to look forward to makes your sense of futility disappear.
        See if it works.
        All the Best

        PS – And just don’t bother to “set things right” in relationships – just love yourself and bash on regardless!

      2. I agree with your suggestion, Vikram. I guess that would kill the feeling of futility. Will try! well, this is what my friend had to say about it:
        ” True nothing in life is stable. But in the inverted pyramid of relationships one factor remains constant…that is love may be the characters on whom it is showered goes on changing from time to time.But these very fading relations make the base of the pyramid stronger.Life regenerates…its not futile…it cannot be. ”

        I liked the thought!

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